i just wanna soil my oats bro
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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