never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
