The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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