Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
