Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize