but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
