I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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