we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
