Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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