someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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