After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
