OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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