the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
