Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
