Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
