And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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