No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
