arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
