I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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