On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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