you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
