uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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