Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
