you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
