That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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