I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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