So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
