Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
