I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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