No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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