why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
