I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
