me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
