i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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