I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
