He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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