Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
