I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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