That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This baby is an asshole
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Will exercising make me less horny?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
