You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
