i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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