we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
