I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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