my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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