Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it glows. i had to have it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
