bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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