does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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