so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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