Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
