on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
