dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
