I love black thongs
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
