when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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