i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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