she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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