i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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