You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
