Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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